Fragile, Scared and not open

I do my best to avoide this website because it takes out what's in me and displays it openly for everyone to see. And what do they see. Me not strong? not protective?. Just plain me. And that's not easy for me.

I'm aching for something I don't know what it is but I know that a big part of me is empty these days and it's bringing me down. I'm usually optimistic and strong but I guess not at this time of year. I'm vulenrable and fragile. Yet I'm never undertsood and I guess I never will be. Oh well what can I do but close myself in my room and close my heart at the same time. I have to maintain it so it doesn't burst but I guess it already did years ago and it never returned.

Peace